


News

by SkyTheLoner



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alien Invasion, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Attempt at Humor, Drabble, Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, Humor, Mild Language, Wordcount: 100-1.000, Wordcount: 100-500, but there's not really an invasion ;), from Lars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyTheLoner/pseuds/SkyTheLoner
Summary: Unfortunately, the whole world was not updated on the recent treaty.Lars is not happy.





	News

**"This an alert from the WIGPA (Worldwide Intergalactic Peace Association). Please take selter in the nearest bomb selter as soon as possible. Thank you."**

**"Breaking News!"**

**"Bing!"**

_The TubeTuber SuperStr@nge has uploaded a new video: BIG ARMS INVADE EARTH!!!_

  **"News Alert: Alien Invasion?"**

At the sound of multiple beeping sounds from his phone, Lars glanced down to see numerous alerts from numerous sources, all relating to alien invasions. Heck, there was even an alert from the WIGPA!

 _Heh, wig pa,_ thought Lars to himself. Then, frowning, he realized that this might be a big deal. Sure, the government knew about his ship, the  _Sun Incinerator_ , which he had retained ownership of after a deal with Emerald, but did they know about the Diamonds?

Long story short, Lars could fly his ship around and not get blown up.

"Rutile," he said in a monotonous voice.

The twins glanced at him, then to each other. "Yes, Captain Lars?" one asked, while the other said, "Yeah?"

"Please call Steven." The kid was probably with the two (other?) diamonds.

"Yes, Lars!" they replied, giving him a salute, turning around to type something.

A screen appeared overhead showing a blue background. Moments later, the face of a green gem in a black uniform appeared. There was a blue diamond symbol in the middle of it, showing she belonged to Blue Diamond. She seemed confused by him, then she simply shrugged.

**"This is Jade-"**

"Jesus Christ, where's Steven?"

The black and green gem frowned, blinked, then she muttered,  **" _That's not my name..._** " She said louder, **"Can you give me some form of identification?"**

"Lars, captain of the Sun Incinerator and honorary member of the Crystal Gems."

Jade seemed surprised by his answer, bringing up a window on her holopad. A moment later an ugly yet funny picture of him with his tongue sticking out and middle finger up appeared on the screen.

He chuckled. He remembered that one. He had nearly got executed by Emerald for thief and a bunch of other crimes, but taking that picture and seeing it appear during that trail was worth it.

Plus, Emerald had nearly pooped herself when Yellow Diamond stomped into the room, announcing he was pardoned. 

 **I'll** **transfer** **your** **call** **to**... **her- he-"**  The gem sighed, giving up on using the new pronouns, finally saying, **Steven**.... **"**

"Great!" he said, louder then he intended. "Have a good day."

Jade sighed, turning away to type something and the screen changed. There was still a blue background, but the face of a familiar boy was staring at him.

"Hi Lars!" Steven called, grinning.

"The government think you and your alien grandmas want to kill us," Lars informed him. "And hi Steven."

The boy's smile slipped into a confused frown. "I thought I sent them an email..." he muttered half to himself.

"Your grandmas' ships tend to mess up the internet," he reminded him. "Well, not so much that I couldn't get bombarded with alerts, but...

Steven blinked, a sheepish look on his face. "Whoops."

**"Breaking News: Aliens send message of peace through e-mail."**

"Oh, itgot through."

Steven chuckled. "Umm..."

**"Aliens send message telling government officials to 'go frack themselves'."**

Lars raised an eyebrow at this.

Looking around, it seemed like the message was also sent through a gem communication channel, judging from the twins and Rhodonite reactions to the words traveling across the bottom of the screen. Padparadscha's eye was covered by Rhodonite's lower set of arms, but after a moment the small gem gasped in shock.

"Oh my!" exclaimed the sapphire.

**"PS: you are all dumb."**

Lars snickered.

**"Oh shale, the messages are getting through. Ignore those last two."**

Steven leaned over to type something on the holographic screen floating beside him.

Lars' phone buzzed as another message was sent.

**"Sorry. :("**

**" <3"**

He faceplamed. "Oh god..."


End file.
